I am officially here! Today is the day of my opening viewing of my blog, "Positively Alexzander". I am really happy about this new venture in my life. This is my "A-Ha" Moment. The moment of clarity and born into an epiphany.
Well, who am I? Glad you asked. I'm Positively Alexzander to the new and misinformed. I'm all over Facebook under No Alexzander, on Twitter under PositvileyAlexz and on a couple of hit list from midgets that I made fun of during a roast for Gary Coleman. Well I thought it was a roast...turned out to be a funeral. Who knew that midgets can really run that fast when they get worked up?
Well, I love to cook, read, travel and most off I love to entertain! God, I'm sounding like every rejected E-Harmony ad. I see why they don't like the Skittle Mafia. Anyway, back to me. Entertainment is my DNA. If its funny, I'm there. If its tragic, I'm there. If its tragically funny, I'm there with tissue and cam phone.
I love music! Nearly every genre has something that I will find enduring...except for chamber music. If I wanted to hear a bunch of moaning in harmony I would listen to Justin Beiber and Miley Cyrus concert on the Disney Channel.
If you ever want to bribe me it will involve Coke, a plain Hershey Chocolate Bar and of course, Boris Kodjoe's cell number. I'm joking about the Hershey bar.
This week in entertainment we saw Florence Henderson give us a reason to stop the making and selling of Viagra. Its giving old people confidence they really shouldn't have. Sons of Anarchyhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xHQMvhcj0EI made us want to buy a Harley and drive to wherever Trouble reared its ugly head. Glee http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MsU-vNJPAyo reminded us that if we sing in harmony and dance in perfect precision, we all can break out and start singing a Jay Z song during the middle of lunch.
Oh! Did you see Fringe? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=20EO4XMBQgM It was awesome! Olivia is so hard! I actually got lady wood for a whole hour, this season will be really good.
I just don't want to be talk about me...I want you to talk about me. Share this blog with your friends, your enemies, your therapist. Make comments! If you disagree, I will gladly read them and turn your name over to the Vagina-Illuminati....which Oprah is the ruler over. Hey Oprah, if you happen to be reading this, I love you. Put me on your show. You only have this one year left, who the hell is going to care if you put me on there? Your word is law.
In honor of Oprah I will start my own Book Club Selection. No, it will not be something literary, thought provoking, uplifting or a Lifetime Movie moment type of book. If you reading this blog its obvious you aren't a holier than thou type of conservative.
So, if you a poet, hit me up at positivelyalexzander@gmail.com with your best poem. Please be real good at this also cause I love poetry. If you come to me with some dumb shit about a leaf in hell or your vagina is a box of living eggs I swear to Jennifer Lopez's sagging ass that I will send my gang of ninja midgets to fuck up your kneecaps.
Also, if you are a doing something positive like starting a legit business, know a hot spot in your city for eating food or tripping senior citizens, let me know. I will be more than glad to put it up here.
I will not always be uplifting, but I promise when I'm a bitch I will make you laugh.
Catch me on Redd Angel Radio every Thursday from 7-9pm EST giving my opinions on random shit. You can catch that on the internet at http://www.uwmixradio.com/ I'm listed on there so be my friend and my critics can find another place to bitch about me at.
Finally, I'm going to leave you with a words of wisdom my grandmother gave me one time. She said, "Stand the hell back, you little shit, your stepping on my tittie." Wait, sorry....my grandmother wasn't really into giving words of advice.
Until next time
Positively Alexzander
postivelyalexzander@gmail.com
