Good Morning Saints and Sinners, here are your church announcements:
The annual Food Drive for Thanksgiving is currently on until 11-20-10. All leftover food will be ate up by Sis Jackson Section 8 grandkids. Please don’t pay any attention to the grandchild that looks like Pastor cause we are all waiting for the DNA test to confirm that one.
The Minister of Music wants all the mothers to stop telling their out of tune kids they can sing. We all know the Bible says make a joyful noise, but cut the crap, there is nothing joyful about what is coming out of their mouths. God don’t like any of you non singing sinners no way.
Senior Choir will be singing at Memorial Senior Citizen Home in Lithonia, GA this Saturday at 2pm. Finally you can see the old folks you forgot about and can’t wait to die to get their stuff to sell on E-Bay.
Pastor and the First Lady will be celebrating their 38th Wedding Anniversary next month. We all know they ain’t been faithful but let’s ignore that sin and act like we give a damn about their trifflin’ ways. This Samson and Delilah copy are registered at www.kmart.com and http://www.target.com/ Do like me and get them an appointment at the free clinic cause we know that Pastor is itchy.
The Youth Department will be holding auditions for The Nativity, the musical for next month. They want one song and a monologue for the character you wish to play. If any of you idiots come dress up like Nicki Manaj I will throw hot Holy oil on you and light you up like a Christmas tree. Test my hypotenuse if you want to.
Due to the typo in last week’s bulletin that read, “Coming Out with Jesus”, its suppose to be, “Coming Out of Debit with Jesus”. We apologize to all the closets sisters and brothers who assumed this was the time to announce what we already knew.
You all have a blessed week.
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