Monday, October 25, 2010

Dear Baby Jesus

Dear Baby Jesus,

You know I went to the club on Saturday. Next time put my car on all flats or send a Hurricane Katrina to stop me from going. I’ve never been in a place that had so many Precious look-alikes in Big Lots swap meet lace front wigs doing the Dougie to Beyonce’s Get Me Bodies. Stretch marks and fishnets are apparently the new trend for low budget tricks. It was like a bad high school prom with alcohol. I saw Baby Satan sipping on Patron thru his bottle, I gave him the side eye for you Baby Jesus.

Dear Baby Jesus,
Payday is this week but I need for my last $5 to either be the winning lottery ticket or make this scratch off a big winner. Don’t be playing with now. I’m broke and I can switch up to grown Jesus if you ain’t gonna do me right.

In all these things I ask in true ignorance,

Amen.