Sis Thomas Thanksgiving Advice

Sis Thomas Thanksgiving Advice: Rules for Attending My Home for Thanksgiving Dinner



Thank you for coming to my house for Thanksgiving. Please follow these instructions to the letter or catch my elbow to your lips. Ask Bro. Wilson why his lips are still stuck on swollen 20yrs later. Test my hypotenuse if you want to.

1.      Dinner starts at exactly 4pm. Act like you have Color People Time on your cheap ass cell phone and watch you be hungry cause I locks the door at 4:01pm.

2.      If you are wearing a weave, lace front, toupee, tracks, yaki, Remi, Big Lots Jheri Curl or anything synthetic and that mess falls into the food, it will some bald headed bitches eating outside on the porch.

3.      If you don’t want me to beat you and your bad ass kids I highly recommend you keep them medicated or in jail. They act up in my house and they will get a windmill slap up the backside of their block head. And you will get a beat down for not practicing safe sex and giving birth to demons.

4.      All the TVs in my house are controlled by me. If you want to watch the game go to your house. I’m watching what I want to watch.

5.      There will be no napping after you eat. If I catch you getting drowsy you either get a cold bucket of water thrown on you or a hot pan of bacon grease. Depends on what I pick up first.

6.      I cooked everything, and if you fix your lips to ask who cooked what you will be tasting knuckles.

7.      I wish a bitch would take my good Tupperware.

8.      If you want me to act a fool, bring your retarded kid up in here and tell them to fix their own plate. I will put you both on the short yellow bus to Grady’s padded room.

9.      This is the last time I’m gonna tell you Bernice, if you take out your teeth at the dinner table to gum the corn on the cob you will wake up in the hospital with them dentures stuck in your throat.

10.  I know every family member from brother, sister, uncle, aunt, cousin, husband, wife, illegitimate child to drug addict. If you invite someone that you didn’t clear through me, Thanksgiving will be the day you have no family and you will be hungry.

11.  This year Pastor is coming by with his wife for dinner. I really didn’t want to invite them but he overheard me talking to Bernice and invited himself. If he wasn’t a Man of God I would’ve cursed him out. He WILL NOT be giving the prayer. Last time he prayed over a dinner at a banquet it was time to eat breakfast.

All rules are subject to change, reinforcement, or whatever the situation calls for. I want you all to enjoy yourself, but exactly at 9pm the show is over. You don’t have to go home but you got the get the hell up out my house.

Love Always

Sis Thomas

Time to Talk About Bubble Guts

Chello World!

You know that I was part of, "Pay It Forward", where my team and I helped with the Crohn's & Colitis Foundation, here in Atlanta, GA. Well my commitment goes beyond that just one day. Alot of people suffer from this disease but are often ashamed about it cause let's be real, its a shitty deal and very embarrassing.

Due to this stigma, its not getting the attention that it deserves. So, take this negative into a positive. Here is more info on the Crohn's & Colitis Foundation. (All information pulled from CCFA.org)

About the Crohn's & Colitis Foundation

The Crohn's and Colitis Foundation of America is a non-profit, volunteer-driven organization dedicated to finding the cure for Crohn's disease and ulcerative colitis. It was founded in 1967 by Irwin M. and Suzanne Rosenthal, William D. and Shelby Modell, and Henry D. Janowitz, M.D.

Four decades ago, the Crohn's & Colitis Foundation created the field of Crohn's disease and ulcerative colitis research. Today, the Foundation funds cutting-edge studies at major medical institutions, nurtures investigators at the early stages of their careers, and finances underdeveloped areas of research. Educational workshops and symposia, together with our scientific journal, Inflammatory Bowel Diseases, enable medical professionals to keep pace with this rapidly growing field. No wonder the National Institutes of Health has commended the Foundation for "uniting the research community and strengthening IBD research."
Main areas of this section include:

• Our Mission
  To cure Crohn's disease and ulcerative colitis, and to improve the quality of life of children and adults affected by these diseases.
  
• Your Dollars at Work
  The Foundation consistently meets standards established by the Better Business Bureau Wise Giving Alliance as well as other charity watchdog organizations. Learn more about how we steward your dollars.  
• Our Members
  Currently the Foundation has over 50,000 members, served by our national headquarters, as well as a over 40 chapters nationwide. As the Foundation is not a government-supported agency, we rely on the support of members and donors to continue our work.
  
• Our Sponsors
  Our dedicated corporate sponsors provide significant grants to the Foundation, which have made possible many of our research, support, and education programs.
  
• Global Partners
  The Crohn's & Colitis Foundation maintains informal partnerships with a variety of Crohn's and colitis-related organizations around the world for the purposes of cooperation on research and information sharing.

Sad enough for adults dealing with this disease, can you imagine being a kid or a teenager with this? Now you have zits and a stomach issue. So not right or even close to fair. Thankfully the CCFA has Camp Oasis for kids and teens. This experience is life changing not only for the kids but also the adults.

Here is more information on Camp Oasis:

CCFA Camp Oasis is a co-ed residential camp program that's mission is to enrich the lives of children with Crohn's disease and ulcerative colitis by providing a safe and supportive camp community.

• See that they are not alone
• Try things they never iMagINeD
• Create friendships with people who truly understand them
• Listen to & share their IBD stories
• Gain CONFIDENCE
• Heal & build their spirit

Outstanding Medical CareOur volunteer physicians, nurses, and other healthcare professionals are available for 24-hour care, and work to ensure that campers follow the medical regimen prescribed by their doctors back home.
A Quality ProgramOur program is built upon high standards of CARE, and offers activities that appeal to every taste:

• Visual & performing Arts
• Land and water sports
• HIGH ropes and other outdoor adventure
• Leadership development (for our oldest participants)

The schedule also allows campers plenty of time to relax, get to know one another, and share the best medicine of all: LAUGHTER :)

Dedicated Staff

CCFA carefully screens and trains its mostly volunteer staff of adults with IBD. These responsible and sensitive individuals work hard to ensure that every camper feels safe, comfortable and has the time of their LIFE.

There is ton of information on their website! This is just tip of the iceberg. You can donate money or your time, or even do sponsorship. One person can make the difference in someone's life. Let it begin with you. Remember to Pay It Forward!

Positively Alexzander

poeticphire75@gmail.com

Ultimate SOA Fan of the Week

The Ultimate SOA Fan of the Week is:

Ben Hightower!!!

Here in his own words whose his favorite character is:

Opie

Ryan Hurst

Opie is one of my favorite characters. His constant struggle to maintain his family & his MC life only to have it taken away from him when it was all coming together & now he struggles to maintain his sanity. It reminds me of myself alot & decisions I have/would make. We both have strong, loyal characteristics towards our friends & family, which are one & the same. I know its a script but Watching Ryan Hurst portray Opie reminds me there's always something to live & fight for & to never give up.

This could be you next week!!!! Thanks Ben for sharing! SOA for life!

Positively Alexzander

poeticphire75@gmail.com

Sis. Thomas Church Announcements

(Sis. Thomas is back…and this time she’s been taking her meds w/Crown Royal…you’ve been warned.)
Good Morning Saints and Sinners, here are your church announcements:

The annual Food Drive for Thanksgiving is currently on until 11-20-10. All leftover food will be ate up by Sis Jackson Section 8 grandkids. Please don’t pay any attention to the grandchild that looks like Pastor cause we are all waiting for the DNA test to confirm that one.

The Minister of Music wants all the mothers to stop telling their out of tune kids they can sing. We all know the Bible says make a joyful noise, but cut the crap, there is nothing joyful about what is coming out of their mouths. God don’t like any of you non singing sinners no way.

Senior Choir will be singing at Memorial Senior Citizen Home in Lithonia, GA this Saturday at 2pm. Finally you can see the old folks you forgot about and can’t wait to die to get their stuff to sell on E-Bay.

Pastor and the First Lady will be celebrating their 38th Wedding Anniversary next month. We all know they ain’t been faithful but let’s ignore that sin and act like we give a damn about their trifflin’ ways. This Samson and Delilah copy are registered at www.kmart.com and http://www.target.com/ Do like me and get them an appointment at the free clinic cause we know that Pastor is itchy.

The Youth Department will be holding auditions for The Nativity, the musical for next month. They want one song and a monologue for the character you wish to play. If any of you idiots come dress up like Nicki Manaj I will throw hot Holy oil on you and light you up like a Christmas tree. Test my hypotenuse if you want to.

Due to the typo in last week’s bulletin that read, “Coming Out with Jesus”, its suppose to be, “Coming Out of Debit with Jesus”. We apologize to all the closets sisters and brothers who assumed this was the time to announce what we already knew.

You all have a blessed week.

Simply Finnesse

Introducing: Christopher Finnesse

Chello World!

You know that I'm always looking for the hottest Indie Artist to give them a moment to shine. Well, through Twitter I came across, Christopher Finnesse. He tweeted if I am a fan of R&B to follow him. Its a great thing I did cause this man is talented!

Here is a little more on this up and coming R&B superstar:

Christopher Finnesse is a charismatic artist straight out of Brooklyn, New York, Christopher is an incredible talent known for his dynamic stage presence, plus, a vocal style that can be described as captivating, passionate, & refreshing. Christopher often is associated with music that can be portrayed as spiritually inspirational and extremely sexual.

Christopher made a name for himself & created a following in not only in his hometown, but throughout the country, lighting up each and every stage that he performs on with amazing energy emotion & (swagger). Since his run for stardom began, this artist has been an opening act for Ciara, Justin Timberlake, Cassidy, & Freeway. & has been featured on Radio stations such as 104.7 Fm & True Voice Media Finnesse has songs like “My Life,” that are a rare display of a father expressing his

love & vulnerability in the presence of his child.

Or “Whatever You Want”, a beautiful rendition of a man catering to his woman by all means, as he should. At the end of the day Christopher wants to be known for putting it all out there. Giving you honesty; displaying determination & being the best at his craft. Christopher remains positive, enthusiastic and passionate for creating an entire musical movement & being one of music’s most popular emerging acts on the independent scene. Finnesse is most definitely a mark of distinction that is always looking for innovative creative ways to set his musical talent apart from other traditional male R&B artist. ”

He value’s inserting real life issues, into his music, & his style represents real struggles, and pleasures in relationships, break up’s and just the whole essence of being human. For Christopher, business is a priority. Aside from his music, he has other business ventures and is intent on building an empire to grow his brand. Clothing, spoke model and his future acting career. But first, approaching his music & releasing his debut album Simply Finnesse.

If you think this is it to him stay tuned for his interview on Redd Angel Radio next Thursday! You also can reach him at:

Professional Epk: http://www.artistecard.com/Christopherfinnesse
Website:. www.Christopherfinnesse.com
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Christopher-Finnesse/339131538743
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/simplyfinnesse

(Disclaimer: All photos and bio are property of Christopher Finnesse)

This man is a very humble and talented and its great to know him before he makes it huge! Become a fan of him cause with a name like Finnesse, he will have longevity with class.

Positively Alexzander

poeticphire75@gmail.com



Important Reason to be Tipsy

Hey gang!

Today at work I was proud to be a part of Pay It Forward, a charity event to help local charities. My team worked with The Crohn's & Colitis Foundation here in Atlanta, GA. If you don't know about this disease here is some more info:

Definition

 

Crohn's disease is an inflammatory bowel disease (IBD). It causes inflammation of the lining of your digestive tract, which can lead to abdominal pain, severe diarrhea and even malnutrition.

The inflammation caused by Crohn's disease often spreads deep into the layers of affected bowel tissue. Like ulcerative colitis, another common IBD, Crohn's disease can be both painful and debilitating and sometimes may lead to life-threatening complications.

While there's no known medical cure for Crohn's disease, therapies can greatly reduce the signs and symptoms of Crohn's disease and even bring about long-term remission. With these therapies, many people with Crohn's disease are able to function well.

Definition

Collagenous colitis and lymphocytic colitis are inflammatory conditions of the colon that cause chronic, nonbloody, watery diarrhea. Some researchers believe that collagenous colitis and lymphocytic colitis are different phases of the same condition rather than separate conditions.

Both collagenous colitis and lymphocytic colitis are sometimes referred to collectively as microscopic colitis — because the diagnosis is confirmed by microscopic examination. Collagenous colitis and lymphocytic colitis are more prevalent in older adults.

Collagenous colitis is more common in women than in men.Treatment involves a phased approach, likely beginning with lifestyle changes. In many cases, adjusting your diet will be enough to resolve your symptoms. If not, your doctor can suggest a number of effective medications for collagenous colitis and lymphocytic colitis. In rare cases, surgery is necessary.

I know it sounds horrible and because its not a popular cause, there is a stigma attached to people who are diagnosed with these diseases. Imagine you wanting to to be normal and hang with your friends when your a kid with this disease. Not a good self esteem booster.

However, this is changing! We've met Mary Ball, the Regional Education and Support Manager Southeast Division (Mball@ccfa.org) who stated their fundraiser for 11-12-10. Bottoms Up For Crohn's & Colitis from 7-11pm at The Foundary at Purtian Mill.

Below is the event details and you can go to Flyer Link and read the event details about this great event!

 

 

Event Details

Live Music from The Commitaphobics!

Rock’n Atlanta and the South East for the past six years, The Commitaphobics are anything but what you’d expect from a cover band. Song selection is the first thing you notice. An eclectic mix of your favorite hits from the 80’s, 90’s and Today with a few surprises thrown in along the way. It’s a set list filled with “feel good” music, designed to draw you in, make you move, sing along and rock out all night long. Jam with us once and you’ll experience what it means to be a ‘phobe.

Check out the band at thecommitaphobics.com.

DIRECTIONS TO THE FOUNDRY AT PURITAN MILL

Traveling South on I-75

- Exit Northside Drive.

- Turn right, traveling south on Northside Drive.

- Follow until 10th Street and turn right.

- After crossing Howell Mill turn left at the next stop sign onto   Brady Street.

- At the light, turn right onto West Marietta Street.

- At the next light, make a sharp left turn onto Lowery Boulevard   (formerly known as Ashby Street) across from the King Plow   Arts Center.

- Puritan Mill is the set of buildings on the right.

- Enter the second driveway of the 916 building and park in the   rear parking lot.

- Enter the set of double doors in the middle of the building   from the parking lot.

Traveling South on I-85

- Take the exit for 75 North.

- Exit Northside Drive.

- Turn left, traveling south on Northside Drive.

- Follow until 10th Street and turn right.

- After crossing Howell Mill turn left at the next stop sign onto Brady Street.

- At the light, turn right onto West Marietta Street.

- At the next light, make a sharp left turn onto Lowery Boulevard (formerly known as Ashby Street) across from the King   Plow Arts Center.

- Puritan Mill is the set of buildings on the right.

- Enter the second driveway of the 916 building and park in the rear parking lot.

- Enter the set of double doors in the middle of the building from the parking lot.

Traveling North on I-75/I-85

- Exit 10th Street exit.

- Turn left onto 10th Street.

- After crossing Howell Mill turn left at the next stop sign onto Brady Street.

- At the light, turn right onto West Marietta Street.

- At the next light, make a sharp left turn onto Lowery Boulevard (formerly known as Ashby Street) across from the King   Plow Arts Center.

- Puritan Mill is the set of buildings on the right.

- Enter the second driveway of the 916 building and park in the rear parking lot.

- Enter the set of double doors in the middle of the building from the parking lot.

Traveling East on I-20

- Take the exit 55A.

- Turn left onto Oak Street.

- Turn left onto Joseph E. Lowery Boulevard (formerly Ashby Street).

- After passing Jefferson Street look for Puritan Mill signage on the left and turn in the entrance for building 916.

- Park in the rear parking lot.

- Enter the set of double doors in the middle of the building from the parking lot.

Traveling East on I-20

- Take the exit 55A.

- Turn right onto Oak Street.

- Turn right onto Joseph E. Lowery Boulevard (formerly Ashby Street).

- After passing Jefferson Street look for Puritan Mill signage on the left and turn in the entrance for building 916.

- Park in the rear parking lot.

- Enter the set of double doors in the middle of the building from the parking lot.

CCFA Georgia Chapter Staff 2250 North Druid Hills Road, Suite 250 Atlanta, Georgia  30329 404-982-06196 800-472-0656 georgia@ccfa.org Contact them for more helpful ways to help out this cause! Know your worth! Positively Alexzander poeticphire75@gmail.com

Ultimate SOA Fan Day Winner 11-9-10

TODAY'S ULTIMATE SOA FAN WINNER IS:

Laci White


Here's what she had to say about her husband, Jax:

Jax embodies everything: sexiness, the bad ass, he's the hero every man wants to be and the man every woman wants. He's so sexy that I'd lick his sweat just to see what he drank..(that's what I said at work) and he represents an honest portrayal of trying to find balance between what's right and what's wrong with life and in it.

 

Now....that right there I'm sure left some of you moist, or rolling your eyes in disgust cause you didn't enter! See how easy this was? This could be you next week. Now we only have 3 shows left and its on right now!

 

SOA for life!

 

Positively Alexzander

poeticphire75@gmail.com