Chello World!
Yea, I'm coming to you on a whole other angle tonight. If you are a first time reader, welcome. Warning: I will hurt your feelings if you are easily offended. So man up or exit now. This ain't no PBS, trick check the warning label.
Life for me overall has been good. However the last several weeks have been really hard for me. When you have a dream that you can taste everytime you lick your lips. Everytime you move you can feel it move with you. When you wake up and after plucking the eye boogers from the corner of your eye...and for you hoes, asking whose dick is this in your mouth, you look back to make sure that your Dream is right there waving to you, then you already know this feeling.
Yeah, I am thankful for my 9-5 that pays my bills now. Especially in this day in age when a job is like finding a str8 man at a gay pride parade on purpose. Its few and far between. I had a series of unfortunate events that happened all at once and I'm not going to lie: I bitched out like $2 hooker. Stress was hard and I almost told my Dream that it wasn't worth it.
I wanted to surrender my passion for complacency. I was going to be a repressed heterosexual man....only flip the hetero to homo and upgraded repressed to depressed. I was going to be Bishop Eddie Long....without the juicy Jheri Curl lace front wig. I'm so serious about this. I had bills up the va-jay-jay, two flat tires and to make it worse, Sarah Palin got a TV show. I almost slit my wrist with a wet noodle but me and seeing my own blood would've just made me pass out before I could make the cut any deeper.
Then I thought about taking me a fist full of Ambein....but really one will just do and I didn't feel out my prescription and my doctor is giving me the side eye when I tell him that I have trouble sleeping, cause my ass keeps falling asleep everytime he tells me about eating healthy.
So after I had my period and change my tampon, I remembered I had a pair of balls and manned up and got over that shit. What saved me from becoming a cadaver? There are three things....well there are more than three but shit I don't have the time to be writing them all down. The three random things that make me smile are: Baby Jesus, Music and Writing.
I already know you are looking at Baby Jesus and asking yourself, 'Dude, really?' Don't doubt the Baby Jesus. Its what made Talledega Nights funny.
When I listen to music it inspires me to write. When I write it inspires me to listen to music. A wonderful circle of passion that I thank Baby Jesus for creating. Music will help you remember your first kiss, puppy love...or some repressed memory of you and a Catholic priest. Please save it for Maury. This is my soapbox.
Today I told a very good friend that my job was killing my spirit. Well not really killing it persay...just sapping the life out of me. She said: NOTHING IN THIS WORLD CAN EVER KILL YOUR SPIRIT. After texting back to her thank you and please stop yelling your right next to me, I came home to the comforting sounds of Hinder and Hootie and the Blowfish playing in my car.
Then for an instant pick me up, GLEE
, was the car battery to the nipples jump I needed to get out of this funk. Then I came to the Net and decided not to watch porn and listened to music from N.E.R.D. to Lil Wayne to some other crap about Hindu whistle monkeys...then I told my neighbor to stop smoking weed on his porch cause I was getting a contact high.
My point to this blog is this: Don't ever give up your dreams. If you do you become a Republican...or worse: Sarah Palin.This clip from Family Guy always cheers me up!
Be sexy fantastic in a world full of ugly
Positively Alexzander
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Sis Thomas Thanksgiving Advice
Sis Thomas Thanksgiving Advice: Rules for Attending My Home for Thanksgiving Dinner
Thank you for coming to my house for Thanksgiving. Please follow these instructions to the letter or catch my elbow to your lips. Ask Bro. Wilson why his lips are still stuck on swollen 20yrs later. Test my hypotenuse if you want to.
1. Dinner starts at exactly 4pm. Act like you have Color People Time on your cheap ass cell phone and watch you be hungry cause I locks the door at 4:01pm.
2. If you are wearing a weave, lace front, toupee, tracks, yaki, Remi, Big Lots Jheri Curl or anything synthetic and that mess falls into the food, it will some bald headed bitches eating outside on the porch.
3. If you don’t want me to beat you and your bad ass kids I highly recommend you keep them medicated or in jail. They act up in my house and they will get a windmill slap up the backside of their block head. And you will get a beat down for not practicing safe sex and giving birth to demons.
4. All the TVs in my house are controlled by me. If you want to watch the game go to your house. I’m watching what I want to watch.
5. There will be no napping after you eat. If I catch you getting drowsy you either get a cold bucket of water thrown on you or a hot pan of bacon grease. Depends on what I pick up first.
6. I cooked everything, and if you fix your lips to ask who cooked what you will be tasting knuckles.
7. I wish a bitch would take my good Tupperware.
8. If you want me to act a fool, bring your retarded kid up in here and tell them to fix their own plate. I will put you both on the short yellow bus to Grady’s padded room.
9. This is the last time I’m gonna tell you Bernice, if you take out your teeth at the dinner table to gum the corn on the cob you will wake up in the hospital with them dentures stuck in your throat.
10. I know every family member from brother, sister, uncle, aunt, cousin, husband, wife, illegitimate child to drug addict. If you invite someone that you didn’t clear through me, Thanksgiving will be the day you have no family and you will be hungry.
11. This year Pastor is coming by with his wife for dinner. I really didn’t want to invite them but he overheard me talking to Bernice and invited himself. If he wasn’t a Man of God I would’ve cursed him out. He WILL NOT be giving the prayer. Last time he prayed over a dinner at a banquet it was time to eat breakfast.
All rules are subject to change, reinforcement, or whatever the situation calls for. I want you all to enjoy yourself, but exactly at 9pm the show is over. You don’t have to go home but you got the get the hell up out my house.
Love Always
Sis Thomas
1. Dinner starts at exactly 4pm. Act like you have Color People Time on your cheap ass cell phone and watch you be hungry cause I locks the door at 4:01pm.
2. If you are wearing a weave, lace front, toupee, tracks, yaki, Remi, Big Lots Jheri Curl or anything synthetic and that mess falls into the food, it will some bald headed bitches eating outside on the porch.
3. If you don’t want me to beat you and your bad ass kids I highly recommend you keep them medicated or in jail. They act up in my house and they will get a windmill slap up the backside of their block head. And you will get a beat down for not practicing safe sex and giving birth to demons.
4. All the TVs in my house are controlled by me. If you want to watch the game go to your house. I’m watching what I want to watch.
5. There will be no napping after you eat. If I catch you getting drowsy you either get a cold bucket of water thrown on you or a hot pan of bacon grease. Depends on what I pick up first.
6. I cooked everything, and if you fix your lips to ask who cooked what you will be tasting knuckles.
7. I wish a bitch would take my good Tupperware.
8. If you want me to act a fool, bring your retarded kid up in here and tell them to fix their own plate. I will put you both on the short yellow bus to Grady’s padded room.
9. This is the last time I’m gonna tell you Bernice, if you take out your teeth at the dinner table to gum the corn on the cob you will wake up in the hospital with them dentures stuck in your throat.
10. I know every family member from brother, sister, uncle, aunt, cousin, husband, wife, illegitimate child to drug addict. If you invite someone that you didn’t clear through me, Thanksgiving will be the day you have no family and you will be hungry.
11. This year Pastor is coming by with his wife for dinner. I really didn’t want to invite them but he overheard me talking to Bernice and invited himself. If he wasn’t a Man of God I would’ve cursed him out. He WILL NOT be giving the prayer. Last time he prayed over a dinner at a banquet it was time to eat breakfast.
All rules are subject to change, reinforcement, or whatever the situation calls for. I want you all to enjoy yourself, but exactly at 9pm the show is over. You don’t have to go home but you got the get the hell up out my house.
Love Always
Sis Thomas
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Time to Talk About Bubble Guts
Chello World!
You know that I was part of, "Pay It Forward", where my team and I helped with the Crohn's & Colitis Foundation, here in Atlanta, GA. Well my commitment goes beyond that just one day. Alot of people suffer from this disease but are often ashamed about it cause let's be real, its a shitty deal and very embarrassing.
Due to this stigma, its not getting the attention that it deserves. So, take this negative into a positive. Here is more info on the Crohn's & Colitis Foundation. (All information pulled from CCFA.org)
About the Crohn's & Colitis Foundation
The Crohn's and Colitis Foundation of America is a non-profit, volunteer-driven organization dedicated to finding the cure for Crohn's disease and ulcerative colitis. It was founded in 1967 by Irwin M. and Suzanne Rosenthal, William D. and Shelby Modell, and Henry D. Janowitz, M.D.Four decades ago, the Crohn's & Colitis Foundation created the field of Crohn's disease and ulcerative colitis research. Today, the Foundation funds cutting-edge studies at major medical institutions, nurtures investigators at the early stages of their careers, and finances underdeveloped areas of research. Educational workshops and symposia, together with our scientific journal, Inflammatory Bowel Diseases, enable medical professionals to keep pace with this rapidly growing field. No wonder the National Institutes of Health has commended the Foundation for "uniting the research community and strengthening IBD research."
Main areas of this section include:
- Our Mission
To cure Crohn's disease and ulcerative colitis, and to improve the quality of life of children and adults affected by these diseases.
- Your Dollars at Work
The Foundation consistently meets standards established by the Better Business Bureau Wise Giving Alliance as well as other charity watchdog organizations. Learn more about how we steward your dollars. - Our Members
Currently the Foundation has over 50,000 members, served by our national headquarters, as well as a over 40 chapters nationwide. As the Foundation is not a government-supported agency, we rely on the support of members and donors to continue our work.
- Our Sponsors
Our dedicated corporate sponsors provide significant grants to the Foundation, which have made possible many of our research, support, and education programs.
- Global Partners
The Crohn's & Colitis Foundation maintains informal partnerships with a variety of Crohn's and colitis-related organizations around the world for the purposes of cooperation on research and information sharing.
Sad enough for adults dealing with this disease, can you imagine being a kid or a teenager with this? Now you have zits and a stomach issue. So not right or even close to fair. Thankfully the CCFA has Camp Oasis for kids and teens. This experience is life changing not only for the kids but also the adults.
Here is more information on Camp Oasis:
CCFA Camp Oasis is a co-ed residential camp program that's mission is to enrich the lives of children with Crohn's disease and ulcerative colitis by providing a safe and supportive camp community.
- See that they are not alone
- Try things they never iMagINeD
- Create friendships with people who truly understand them
- Listen to & share their IBD stories
- Gain CONFIDENCE
- Heal & build their spirit
Outstanding Medical CareOur volunteer physicians, nurses, and other healthcare professionals are available for 24-hour care, and work to ensure that campers follow the medical regimen prescribed by their doctors back home.
A Quality ProgramOur program is built upon high standards of CARE, and offers activities that appeal to every taste:
- Visual & performing Arts
- Land and water sports
- HIGH ropes and other outdoor adventure
- Leadership development (for our oldest participants)
Dedicated Staff
CCFA carefully screens and trains its mostly volunteer staff of adults with IBD. These responsible and sensitive individuals work hard to ensure that every camper feels safe, comfortable and has the time of their LIFE.
There is ton of information on their website! This is just tip of the iceberg. You can donate money or your time, or even do sponsorship. One person can make the difference in someone's life. Let it begin with you. Remember to Pay It Forward!
Positively Alexzander
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Ultimate SOA Fan of the Week
The Ultimate SOA Fan of the Week is:
Ben Hightower!!!
Here in his own words whose his favorite character is:
Opie
Ryan Hurst
Opie is one of my favorite characters. His constant struggle to maintain his family & his MC life only to have it taken away from him when it was all coming together & now he struggles to maintain his sanity. It reminds me of myself alot & decisions I have/would make. We both have strong, loyal characteristics towards our friends & family, which are one & the same. I know its a script but Watching Ryan Hurst portray Opie reminds me there's always something to live & fight for & to never give up.
This could be you next week!!!! Thanks Ben for sharing! SOA for life!
Positively Alexzander
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Sis. Thomas Church Announcements
Good Morning Saints and Sinners, here are your church announcements:
The annual Food Drive for Thanksgiving is currently on until 11-20-10. All leftover food will be ate up by Sis Jackson Section 8 grandkids. Please don’t pay any attention to the grandchild that looks like Pastor cause we are all waiting for the DNA test to confirm that one.
The Minister of Music wants all the mothers to stop telling their out of tune kids they can sing. We all know the Bible says make a joyful noise, but cut the crap, there is nothing joyful about what is coming out of their mouths. God don’t like any of you non singing sinners no way.
Senior Choir will be singing at Memorial Senior Citizen Home in Lithonia, GA this Saturday at 2pm. Finally you can see the old folks you forgot about and can’t wait to die to get their stuff to sell on E-Bay.
Pastor and the First Lady will be celebrating their 38th Wedding Anniversary next month. We all know they ain’t been faithful but let’s ignore that sin and act like we give a damn about their trifflin’ ways. This Samson and Delilah copy are registered at www.kmart.com and http://www.target.com/ Do like me and get them an appointment at the free clinic cause we know that Pastor is itchy.
The Youth Department will be holding auditions for The Nativity, the musical for next month. They want one song and a monologue for the character you wish to play. If any of you idiots come dress up like Nicki Manaj I will throw hot Holy oil on you and light you up like a Christmas tree. Test my hypotenuse if you want to.
Due to the typo in last week’s bulletin that read, “Coming Out with Jesus”, its suppose to be, “Coming Out of Debit with Jesus”. We apologize to all the closets sisters and brothers who assumed this was the time to announce what we already knew.
You all have a blessed week.
Simply Finnesse
Introducing: Christopher Finnesse
Chello World!
You know that I'm always looking for the hottest Indie Artist to give them a moment to shine. Well, through Twitter I came across, Christopher Finnesse. He tweeted if I am a fan of R&B to follow him. Its a great thing I did cause this man is talented!
Here is a little more on this up and coming R&B superstar:
love & vulnerability in the presence of his child.
Or “Whatever You Want”, a beautiful rendition of a man catering to his woman by all means, as he should. At the end of the day Christopher wants to be known for putting it all out there. Giving you honesty; displaying determination & being the best at his craft. Christopher remains positive, enthusiastic and passionate for creating an entire musical movement & being one of music’s most popular emerging acts on the independent scene. Finnesse is most definitely a mark of distinction that is always looking for innovative creative ways to set his musical talent apart from other traditional male R&B artist. ”
He value’s inserting real life issues, into his music, & his style represents real struggles, and pleasures in relationships, break up’s and just the whole essence of being human. For Christopher, business is a priority. Aside from his music, he has other business ventures and is intent on building an empire to grow his brand. Clothing, spoke model and his future acting career. But first, approaching his music & releasing his debut album Simply Finnesse.
Professional Epk: http://www.artistecard.com/Christopherfinnesse
Website:. www.Christopherfinnesse.com
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Christopher-Finnesse/339131538743
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/simplyfinnesse
(Disclaimer: All photos and bio are property of Christopher Finnesse)
This man is a very humble and talented and its great to know him before he makes it huge! Become a fan of him cause with a name like Finnesse, he will have longevity with class.
Positively Alexzander
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