Dear Baby Jesus,
I woke up with str8 attitude Baby Jesus. How are you gonna bless Bro Jenkins tired behind with new fronts and rims? Now every time he sings a solo in church, he’s gonna be spittin on the First Lady. Then you had to make sure his 1972 Ford Fiesta had rims. Do you know how low budget that looks? Him strolling through Bankhead with rims that are going to be stolen the second he’s at a stop light. That’s why he runs every light and doesn’t pay the stops signs no never mind. So many pit bulls and squirrels have been run over by him already. I hope your Baby Heaven has room for all them animals he’s going to kill.
Dear Baby Jesus,
I want you to bind Sister Thomas’ breath in the Name of Baby Jesus. She whispered a hello to me during Bible Study last night and my eyelashes caught on fire. How can your whisper stank? I almost did an Ike Turner backhand on her, but I remember that wasn’t the time or place for that. So I waited for her outside of church, but she got hip and rode out with Bro Jenkins in his jalopy. Boy I wish you coulda side swiped them tires and flipped that car over and save me the trouble.
In all these things I ask in true ignorance
Amen
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