Good Morning Waverly Hillside Baptist Non-Denominational Creek Don’t Rise Glory To Jehovah Witness To None But The Delivered Morningside AME COGIC Catholic (and on Jewish Holidays) Shalom No Eating Pork Church of Latter Day Saints.
These are your Church Announcements:
Pastor is tired of telling of you members that aren’t delivered from smoking to stop smoking in fronts of the church before and after service. Several complaints have come that your ashes are burning the Deacon Board leisure suits, Big Lots Wigs of the Ushers and making Lil Mike-Mike’s asthma flare up. You can smoke in your car or in hell Pastor said but if he catches you smoking in front of the church he has a bullet with your name on it.
There has been rumors going around the church that the Building Fund has been paid off for years. Pastor said it’s a lie and stop looking at his new Infinity w/the cross shaped rims.
The Senior Choir will no longer do a Praise Break due in part that they weren’t waving and yelling in praise, several members broke their hips and lost their dentures during the shouting.
The Singles Retreat is cancelled until the EPT come back and the DNA results are showing whose the baby daddy of Precious, the Pastor’s daughter. Please tune in on Maury Povich for the results.
The Sunbeams Youth Choir are invited to sing at the Senior home this Saturday. If your child has ADD please sign the waiver for Sis. Thompson to administer butt whooping. Also, if you don’t pick up your demon seed exactly at 3pm we will call DFACS. Play with us and see what happens, ask Sister Ramona what happened last time.
Please pray for the sick and shut in….cause Pastor said he’s tired of visiting them and wish they die already.
You all have a blessed week.
No comments:
Post a Comment